Emotional Intelligence and Management

Everyone’s always talking about Emotional Intelligence (EI) but what exactly is it? One important aspect of emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions – in oneself and others – and to use that information appropriately. For example, recognizing emotional intelligence in oneself can help you regulate and manage your emotions, while recognizing emotions in others can lead to empathy and success in your relationships, both personal and professional.
Given the importance of emotional intelligence, I thought it might be helpful to give a very brief overview of the topic, as well as 10 ways to enhance your emotional

1. Don’t interrupt or change the subject. If feelings are uncomfortable, we may want to avoid them by interrupting or distracting ourselves. Sit down at least twice a day and ask, “How am I feeling?” It may take a little time for the feelings to arise. Allow yourself that small space of time, uninterrupted.

2. Don’t judge or edit your feelings too quickly. Try not to dismiss your feelings before you have a chance to think them through. Healthy emotions often rise and fall in a wave, rising, peaking, and fading naturally. Your aim should be not to cut off the wave before it peaks.
3. See if you can find connections between your feelings and other times you have felt the same way. When a difficult feeling arises, ask yourself, “When have I felt this feeling before?” Doing this may help you to realize if your current emotional state is reflective of the current situation, or of another time in your past.
4. Connect your feelings with your thoughts. When you feel something that strikes you as out of the ordinary, it is always useful to ask, “What do I think about that?” Often times, one of our feelings will contradict others. That’s normal. Listening to your feelings is like listening to all the witnesses in a court case. Only by admitting all the evidence will you be able to reach the best verdict.

5. Listen to your body. A knot in your stomach while driving to work may be a clue that your job is a source of stress. A flutter of the heart when you pick up a girl you have just started to date may be a clue that this could be “the real thing.” Listening to these sensations and the underlying feelings that they signal will allow you to process with your powers of reason.
6. If you don’t know how you’re feeling, ask someone else. People seldom realize that others are able to judge how they are feeling. Ask someone who knows you (and whom you trust) how you are coming across. You may find the answer both surprising and illuminating.

7. Tune in to your unconscious feelings. How can you become more aware of your unconscious feelings? Try free association. While in a relaxed state, allow your thoughts to roam freely and watch where they go. Analyze your dreams. Keep a notebook and pen at the side of your bed and jot down your dreams as soon as you wake up. Pay special attention to dreams that repeat or are charged with powerful emotion.
8. Ask yourself: How do I feel today? Start by rating your overall sense of well-being on a scale of 0 and 100 and write the scores down in a daily log book. If your feelings seem extreme one day, take a minute or two to think about any ideas or associations that seem to be connected with the feeling.

9. Write thoughts and feelings down. Research has shown that writing down your thoughts and feelings can help profoundly. A simple exercise like this could take only a few hours per week.
10. Know when enough is enough. There comes a time to stop looking inward; learn when its time to shift your focus outward. Studies have shown that encouraging people to dwell upon negative feelings can amplify these feelings. Emotional intelligence involves not only the ability to look within, but also to be present in the world around you.

Changing lifestyle

I was groomed in a joint family in a small town. My father was the only breadwinner in the family containing nine members. He worked hard to support the family by travelling to remote village working as a government teacher.

We were taught morals through stories everyday before we sleep. There will be respect for elders and sharing of happiness by all. We all eat together atleast once daily. Ramayan / Mahabharat are taught and will be portrayed in the schools as a part of culturals.

Discipline, sincerity are verymuch followed in school and at home. Getting up early and study loudly by all the children. By 9.00 pm should complete all the work and go for sleep.

After 45 years due to various reasons we have relocated to a big city hesitantly. Still today I am scared about the crowd especially travelling in local trains.

The present scenario looks to be very scary and no one is worried about what is going around. There is no discipline and moral values. Corporate world made people work round the clock and motivates western culture which is well received by the present youth. I am not blaming them. But we should not forget our culture and lose the values. Violence and sex in the media and movies which is misguiding and ignoring to educate character building. Food habits have changed and spending late nights in the bars and restaurants friends parties etc.

The corporate education system are money oriented and failed to cultivate morals among the students. Artificial intelligence among the present generation skips the strong foundation needs in the youth. Forgetting the great people teachings like Gandhiji, Swamy Vivekananda who have made India proud all over the world through their philosophy and discipline.

It’s need of the hour to think the present generation about where they are going. Study the history, about the great people and cultute to move on the right path make India proud.

Ps: correct me with your views to write more by improving myself

Love you Mom!

Posted by Gopal in Englishclub.com on April 26, 2014 at 5:

Yesterday I was suffering from fever, from the morning. With much difficulty I attended the duty and when I reached the home I was almost exhausted. My temperature has gone up. I am not in a position to stand up and I told my wife to bring some medicines for me. She did so. In the mean time I thought that I will talk to my Mom over phone since she is with my brother in a far away place. I called my Mom informed about my health condition. She with a lot of frustration told me to visit the Doctor immediately and take very good care and if required she will visit me. I took the medicine and took rest for about 2 hours. When I got up I was almost recovered and it’s all because of the Prayers of my Mom, I can say.

I though that I will inform her that I got recovered. When I took the phone to call her, there was a call from her enquiring about my health. I got overwhelmed for the coincidence and with much excitement I spoke to her. I am very proud to have such a caring and loving Mother. She always thinks about us only and ignores her. When she is with me, I used to quarrel a lot with her and now I feel that I miss her a lot. In my view Mother’s love for a child irrespective of their age cannot be compared or valued.

May be there is nothing impressive in this story, but I felt that I was verymuch blessed to have such a caring and loving Mom. Here I recollect the song “one love for the mother’s pr


Love you Mom!!

Law of attraction!

Some 10 years back my confidence level was very low. I was very shy and couldn’t see a person directly and speak. There may be the reasons of its own for the situation. I lost my job and I was told by my Ex-Boss that I am “emotionally imbalanced”. I am totally out of control at that time. I don’t know how to survive and was worrying a lot.

During one of my wife’s relative marriage we used to visit Mumbai and we stayed there in one of my wife’s relatives place. I was wondering how the people are enjoying life. I observed that they are very social and they lead life with lot of fun and joy. I was impressed with the way they lead life with lot of joy. I have decided that I will change myself and turn into a very optimistic way and enjoy the life with full of excitement.

After a period of two to three years we were introduced into a system which I found very interesting and that made me not only to enjoy the life but to teach others to be very optimistic about their future. Throughout the system it was taught that if you want to be successful you have to dream your destiny and always be optimistic. And in one of the books, the ‘SECRET’ was revealed if you want to succeed in life, you have to think, speak, write, visualize what do you want in life and the universe will in return will fulfill your needs / dreams. Henceforth, I started self-talk about the things I needed and it started working slowly. God has created everything. It is upto to you to decide what you need and not want you don’t need. I have come across lot of people who always murmur that they couldn’t get this, if they might have been like somebody else their life will be full of colours, God is not in favour of them, fate etc.etc. . I feel very sorry for their ignorance that they have everything in life but just because of the association and the impact of TV serials / Movies etc. they turned negative.

When I was writing this I was assuming that if everyone start following the ‘law of attraction’ how the future would be. This ‘law of attraction’ if followed will do miracles whatever we dream and followed by a strong work ethic will be achieved without any doubt.

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